Lessons from School: Six Pieces of Advice

This piece was adapted from a speech given at Pobalscoil na Trionoide Awards Night 2023

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I remember first seeing the email being invited to the awards night at my secondary school, and at first I really just didn’t know how to answer.

I mean, I was delighted to be invited back to the school, but I’m not anything exciting or special, what did I have to say?

Inside, I really still feel like that 18 year old leaving cert student, locker upstairs blue, eating lunch at the triangle over there with my friends, playing basketball with Mr. R. I mean I hadn’t changed much or done anything extraordinary, so what was I meant to talk about?

So, I did what any twenty something year old would do who has no idea what to do, I rang my mam.

Now guys, Mam’s are wise. Very wise. Probably the wisest people you know and I’m sure a lot of people here in the audience agree with that.

And I told her ‘Mam, I really want to go, but I just don’t think I’m the type of person they want me to speak at the awards night’.

So I ring her and I know it was a phone call, but it was almost like she was sending her ‘Tara you're being ridiculous’ face through the phone. She said to me, ‘Tara, Imagine you could go travel back in time to yourself when you were in school, what would you say? Whatever it is, just write it down, and you’ll see how much you’ve learned.’

So I took her advice (you should all take your mams advice) and I got a big page and put a big title ‘ADVICE’ as the heading. At first, I just stared at the page and it was just plain empty. Couldn’t think of anything.

 But then I began thinking back to my time at college, or travelling, or working, and what I learned. And suddenly ideas came into my head and I thought, 'Oh that would have been helpful', or 'I definitely wish I knew that!'

And eventually my page began filling up with notes and one page turned into two pages and two pages turned into three. I then realised that I had to keep the speech relatively short

f(don’t worry you won’t be listening to me ramble for too long) I thought, okay let’s keep it simple, I’m speaking to six year groups, so why not  6 pieces of advice. It’s kind of like I’m travelling back in time to myself and sitting down with her, for each year, with a piece of advice. Six years, six pieces of advice. Sounds reasonable enough so let’s begin.

First Year

And the first year we’re travelling back to is 2011, back to my first year self. I can almost see myself, with my short pixie haircut, my big square glasses, and my school jumper that was about two sizes too big for me, walking up to school on the first day.

I was absolutely terrified.

And the reason why? Well, I wasn’t going to be in the same class with my friends from Bunscoil Mhuire, I was going to be surrounded by all these other students whom I'd never met before, and I somehow had to navigate myself through this huge building. It was the start of a new chapter in my life. That was scary.

But recalling this, I realized that the beginning of new chapters don’t just end there. There have been plenty of endings and new beginnings since I’ve left school.

An example of a new beginning in my life was when I first moved to Cambridge to begin my Masters in Nanoscience and Nanotechnology. I remember cycling to my office there for the first time and seeing the sign 'The Cavendish Laboratories.' Now, for those of you who are not too interested in science, this is basically the equivalent of a five-year-old seeing Disney World for the first time. This was the place where the atom, quantum field theory, and DNA were discovered. I was terrified, yes, but I was also excited. This was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. And yes, I had no idea what lay ahead, and a million things could go wrong. But a million different things could also go right! And that’s what makes it exciting.

So, advice to first-year Tara? Don't be scared, worried, or afraid. Yes, this is the closing of a chapter in your life, but it's also the start of a new one. Embrace it. I mean, who knows what will happen? Just enjoy it while you can, and don't be scared.

Second Year

And next stop, we travel to the next year, Tara in second year.

I remember this was the year I became a little too obsessed with Basketball, Sherlock and I probably had too many pizzas in Roma Grill with my friends to count.

But it was also the year, I stressed too much about how I was perceived by others, and I was constantly comparing myself.

Another example of me comparing myself was throughout my first few months at Trinity. I was working on an assignment with a group of other students, and I was really stuck on a particular question. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. It was almost like I was reading Greek or Latin. And there was this guy, who was trying to explain some of the assignment to me and at one point just blurted out ‘How can you really not know this? It’s just obvious’. It was at that point I just felt like going to curling up in a ball and going to the corner of the room. Again, I felt like I didn’t belong there, I shouldn’t be there.

So travelling back to second year, what exactly would I tell her? I would tell her simply forget about what everyone else thinks about you, or what you can do or what you are capable of.

Forget about it.

Because the only opinion of yourself, you should care about is yours.

Some of the students in your class are laughing at you? Forget it.

Or if someone says something hurtful? Forget it, because that person will eventually drop out of your course, while you’ll eventually go onto achieve not only a first but a gold medal in your degree.

Never allow someone else’s opinion to define you. Have confidence in yourself because the only opinion that matters is yours.

Third Year

And now we travel to the year of the Junior Certificate.  That was a long year, with 11 exams at the end of it. And we had no continuous assessment then so it was you either do well on the day or not, regardless of how many hours of work you put in before hand. No pressure.

Travelling back, what advice would I give 15 year old Tara. Simply that hard work pays off. Take for example, in third year, I really struggled to study English. English is extremely difficult and I think a lot of the students here would agree with me! I mean it was almost impossible for me to obtain anything in my essays higher than 60 percent and all those quotes and comparative essays, I had to do. But that wasn’t going to stop me from trying, and I made myself sit down every single day in sixth year and study at least a half an hour on a topic in English. Be that Shakespeare, poetry, comparative essays. I would force myself to sit down and work on it. And it was that hard work that eventually got me a H1 in my Leaving Certificate.

Hard work pays off, and remember that. Yes, you will make many mistakes, or fail some exams, or not know exactly what to do in some situations. But remember, a master is someone who’s already made all the mistakes. There is no secret to success, it is simply a combination of hard work, preparation and learning from your mistakes.

Fourth Year

Next, we just finish our exams and go on to Transition year. Advice to myself back then and to all the students now? Try new things and put yourself out there. Because you’ll surprise yourself.

Take for example, I was trying to decide what to do after my Undergraduate degree. I was just finished a yearlong research placement at the world’s most powerful laser research facility in Oxford and was coming back to finish my undergraduate. And I had no idea what to do afterwards. Do I do a Masters, or a graduate programme, or take a year off?

I wanted something different, something a bit more realistic and that was when I decided to completely try something different and do an experimental masters on Nanoscience and Nanotechnology at Cambridge. I could barely use a pipette or bunson burner at this point, so when I arrived there the first day they didn’t know what to do with me! I completely put myself out there and tried something new.  Yes it was extremely difficult at first but I enjoyed every minute of it.

And that’s what transition year is all about for you guys. Try new things, things you would have thought of doing before. Be that singing in a musical, having a project in new scientist or playing a sport you never played before. And this advice isn’t only for transition years, it’s for everybody. Never be afraid to try something new. You’ll surprise yourself at just how capable you are! Believe me I did!

Fifth Year

And now we travel to fifth year. What would I say? I thought about this one a lot because it was the year I found the most difficult by far. It was the year where I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.

There are many things I would like to tell her and all of you here today, but the main message would be that you’re not alone. There is an army of people who care and love you and want to help you, no matter how hopeless you feel the situation is.

One example of this I always have in mind, was actually when I was in fifth year. I was having a really difficult day. And Mary, one of the previous SNA’s here, she just took me to the side and said ‘Tara, do you want to just step aside, and go for a cup of tea somewhere?’

Now this doesn’t sound like a big deal right now,  because I think you can tea in the school now very easily, but you couldn’t really back then and for me, this small act of kindness was huge. I know it kind of sounds silly but it showed me that I wasn’t alone in the school and that there were people there, looking out for me.

And for each and everyone of you all, there’s that group of people in your life looking out for you too.

So what would I tell her and you all? You’re never alone. Ever. And if you feel down, or anxious or just stuck, speak to someone, because they’re there to help you, no matter what the situation is.

Sixth Year

And we’re on to the final year sixth year! And before my piece of advice, I want to ask you all to take a moment I want you to picture your dream. What’s your dream for the future, or where do you want to be in a 5, 10, 20 years time. No one can hear inside your head so it can be as wacky or ambitious as you want it to be. Maybe you want to be the CEO of a company, play  for your favourite soccer team, or start a family. Whatever it is just take a moment to figure out, well, what’s your dream?

Now, if I did that back when I was in sixth year, I would have said, I want to be a scientist. Working with weird and wacky experiments, trying to discover new things in physics or chemistry that we didn’t know about before. That was my dream.

But back then, I would have thought that was an unreachable goal. Never going to happen. I didn’t think I was smart enough or had the skills to even go and achieve that dream. And whenever I said I wanted to study Theoretical Physics, people would be always ask ‘How many points is that?’ thinking I wouldn’t get that many or always asking what type of job I was going to get coming out of that. It was discouraging I’ll admit. But that wasn’t going to stop me from trying.

If I went back to myself in sixth year, and told her I’m currently where I am now, doing exactly what my dream was back then, I would have simply laughed and thought it was a joke. But I did it. That girl from Youghal, who spent her entire childhood here, from Judy Rocks, Bunscoil Mhuire and Pobalscoil na Trionoide.

She did it.

And I honestly believe every single person in this room can make their dream a reality too. Regardless of how wacky or unbelievable you think it is now, if you keep a hold of it and work hard enough, every single one of you here in front of me can achieve that dream you have in your head too.

So final advice for sixth year me and all of ye? Believe in yourself and follow that dream. Because you’ll surprise yourself at how far you can go. I know I did.

Thank you.